Boss reprimands employee for not being 'excited enough,' suggest they smile and laugh more: 'I asked what am I doing specifically wrong and they didn't have anything to say'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 26, 2025 10:00 AM EST

One of the most annoying things that you can ever be told is, "smile more." 

It's almost never what anybody wants to hear. If we felt like smiling, we would. It's not just something you can do on command unless you want to feel like a crazy person. It's also usually always said for the benefit of others, not for the benefit of smiler (or non-smiler) themselves. People like to be around happy people, and that's understandable. It rubs off on us and makes us feel good. But we can't expect people to be happy when they're not. We wouldn't want to force any emotions on anybody else because we wouldn't want somebody doing that to us. This is especially true in the workplace. There's often very little to smile about when you're working. Not because everything's bad, but because it's your day-to-day, and most people don't paste on smiles on their faces throughout their day-to-day. Especially if they're not being respected. 

And nothing says disrespect like being asked to laugh at a joke just to make somebody else feel better. Sure, we should throw in some good humor here and there to make everybody comfortable, but we shouldn't be anything other than our authentic selves. Nobody wants to feel like they're wearing a mask. Especially if you're not working in a retail environment. That can get exhausting enough by itself, but when you're just at an office job, you want to feel like you don't have to smile all the time. That would take a lot out of you. And any good employer would recognize that. 

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  • A stressed out businesswoman looks down at her laptop
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • But that didn't stop this employer from reprimanding one of their employees for not looking like they were having a good enough time. The way they saw it. They needed to show a little more friendliness and enthusiasm at the workplace. The way the worker saw it. They were doing a good job, but weren't willing to fake anything just to make other people happy. So they reached an impasse where the employee was left feeling like they needed to look for a new job. Keep reading to see what exactly happened in the story and decide what you think about it.

  • I'm not "excited" enough for my employers...

    wrong with me and even if there was they can't force me to talk to them about my personal life. I am great with our clients they love me. I am happy and excited and overly animated with clients. I guess they want that from me in meetings. It's not fair. I show up with a smile, I bring my numbers, I do what they ask, I respond when they speak, I bring ideas to the meetings that
    via u/Street_Papaya_4021
  • get shut down. I guess the problem is I'm not laughing hard enough at their jokes. My feelings are hurt. Why isn't my best good enough? Why do I have to pretend corporate laugh with them in order to be a good employee? I do my job and I do a good job. I asked what am I doing specifically wrong and they didn't have anything to say. Just sucks.
    via u/Street_Papaya_4021
  • My job really hurt my feelings earlier. They blindsighted me with a meeting where the owner came in. I had assumed I was getting fired for calling in sick. They spent the whole meeting insisting something must be wrong with me because I don't seem happy. That I need to tell them what's wrong with me. I told them that nothing is
    via u/Street_Papaya_4021

  • Commenters gave their opinions on what was going on here.

    Spirited-Water1368 Why do you assume they want you to laugh? Did they use the words, "not excited enough"?
    via u/Spirited-Water1368
  • OP Street Papaya_4021 Yes they did. They said I'm great with the clients but I'm quiet with them. I'm just working..
    via u/Street_Papaya_4021
  • Authority Author Watch your back going forward. Guard your thoughts. Be succinct with your words. This happened to a colleague. My colleague's boss mentioned in a town hall that he had a nice chat with my colleague who had some good ideas. The next day began the "what's going on with you? You seem different, sad, like somethings wrong" 1:1 conversations. Followed by nitpicking emails, unexpected meets expectation scores when she exceeded expectations every year for the last 4 years. And then cou
    via u/AuthorityAuthor
  • A tired businesswoman works with a headache in a modern office.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Herpty_Derp95 When I haf cancer, the head of HR took me aside and she said I was ruining the morale of the company. I went to the CFO, her boss. He took care of me when he found out I was sick because his wife had cancer twice. He fixed her a$$ good too. There's no reason to be crappy with people, especially when their circumstances weren't of their choosing. I even told the CFO "I didn't chose this." She was given one warning and said the next transgression would be her last. And she couldn't h
    via u/Herpty_Derp95
  • Strategy Ancient6770 Don't let them hurt your feelings over this. It is 100% not a you problem. My last supervisor got into a routine of asking me if I was ok. I finally asked him what the deal was and he said that I looked upset all the time. I checked with other people and I did not, in fact, look upset all the time. I just wasn't smiling the way he expected women to all the time. I was livid. Don't let their insecurity or preconceived idea of how you should be acting get you down. You're crus
    via u/StrategyAncient6770
  • WRB2 In a private small company you have less protection than a larger public company. Start looking.
    via u/WRB2
  • Bearjupiter Why did you think you were getting fired for calling in sick? How many times have you called in?
    via u/Bearjupiter
  • sarahbreit I wouldn't try to argue them out of how they feel, I'd try to understand it first.
    via u/sarahbreit
  • Clothes-Excellent To me it seems like some odd these supervisors/bosses like for those that work under to be sucking up to them. So what I get out of this OP, you are sucking up to the boss.
    via u/Clothes-Excellent
  • jade 1977 They are demanding emotional labor, which in my opinion is always inappropriate. They are paying for work product. As long as you're not causing issues (fighting, yelling, etc) it shouldn't matter if you're smiling or happy.
    via u/jade1977

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antiwork smiling employee job work overworked-employees bad bosses
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